


Progress Is a Process

by ByTheAngell (SomeLittleInfamy)



Series: Tumblr Prompts [78]
Category: The Last Hours Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:41:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27525544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomeLittleInfamy/pseuds/ByTheAngell
Summary: Thomas might be the one carried back to the Institute after his patrol, but by the end of the night Alastair is the one in need of saving. Unfortunately for Thomas, the most effective way for him to help includes giving up his biggest secret.
Relationships: Alastair Carstairs/Thomas Lightwood
Series: Tumblr Prompts [78]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1034831
Comments: 8
Kudos: 112





	Progress Is a Process

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr Prompt: Thomastair Angst!

Alastair hangs back with Thomas while Matthew and James walk ahead down the streets of London. While he’s doing his best to enjoy the time spent with Thomas, even if it is time on patrol, the fact that Matthew and James continue to glance back at them every five seconds with cautious, narrowed eyes, leaves Alastair feeling far from at ease.

“They hate me,” Alastair says quietly so the words don’t reach the other two down the narrow street they just turned into.

“They don’t,” Thomas insists. “They just don’t know you properly.”

It was Thomas’ suggestion that Alastair be put on more patrols with him and the other Merry Thieves, hoping through sheer exposure the others would come around to him. It isn’t going well.

It took long enough for Alastair to smooth things over with Thomas, someone who _wanted_ to forgive him deep down. He isn’t sure the same will be possible with the others. Thomas’ friends don’t even know that the two of them have started dating - so far as they know Thomas just wants to be Alastair’s friend, and even that they barely tolerate. Alastair doesn’t want to cause any waves, he and Thomas only just began dating and if it came down to Thomas having to choose between the Merry Thieves or him, Alastair’s relatively confident he wouldn’t win.

But while Alastair certainly doesn’t want to put Thomas in an uncomfortable situation with his friends, he’d also _really_ like to be holding Thomas’ hand right now, instead of just walking close enough that their arms occasionally brush.

Alastair gives a noncommittal noise and turns the conversation back to a book the two of them were reading through together, ignoring Matthew and James’ looks and focusing entirely on Thomas.

...perhaps _too_ entirely on Thomas. He doesn’t hear the sounds of something following them until the shadow crossing over Thomas alerts him to the demon’s close proximity. Alastair spins, shouting, “Thomas, watch out!” with just enough time to turn and grab Thomas’ shoulders, pulling him to the side.

Alastair winces at the feeling of claws breaking through the clothing and skin down his right side, from just under his ribs down to his hip bone.

Ahead of them Matthew and James hear the shout and turn, only to be faced with four demons of their own, boxing the four Shadowhunters in.

Thomas’ eyes drift down to where Alastair clutches at his side instinctively, but another demon leaves them no time for an iratze as they draw their weapons and begin to fight. There are eight demons total, Alastair notes after a quick assessment, and though they’re outnumbered two to one they seem to be doing alright… until Alastair hears the clattering noise of a dropped weapon - Thomas’ bolas. He turns in time to see Thomas fall beside it, unmoving. Fighting the panic he feels at the sight Alastair throws his spear from where he stands, piercing the demon that moves to descend on Thomas, dispatching it in a splattering of ichor. He moves as if possessed now, protecting Thomas and killing both of their share of the demons in order to sink down to his knees beside his fallen boyfriend.

Thomas is still breathing, and in fact, doesn’t appear to have any cuts at all. An unlucky blow must’ve knocked him out, perhaps? Before he can say any of this, Matthew is beside him, followed by James, both of whom crowd around Thomas and effectively box Alastair out.

“Let me help,” Alastair insists, stele out.

“Why start being useful now?” Matthew snaps, already moving to the other side of James so each of them can support one side of Thomas to carry him back. “Just go home, Carstairs.”

Alastair is tempted to follow, but he doesn’t want to cause a fight - more importantly, he doesn’t want to delay them leaving with Thomas and getting him help. Without another word he turns and leaves, planning to go home, heal himself up and change, and go back to check up on Thomas afterward.

Now that the rush of the battle is wearing off, however, Alastair can feel something’s wrong. The sudden pain in his stomach and rush of dizziness hit him at once, and it’s all he can do to change his course, spot a shadowy section of a small side street for cover, and fall back against the wall of a building, sliding down to the ground as unconsciousness takes him.

\---

It takes him a few disoriented moments to place where he is when Thomas wakes up in the Infirmary at the Institute. Blinking slowly he tries to remember what happened to land him here - the patrol, talking with Alastair, and then-

Alastair. Thomas looks to the beds beside him, but they’re empty.

“Oh good, you’re awake,” Matthew’s voice sounds from the far side of the room.

“Where’s Alastair?” Thomas asks immediately.

“Not here,” Matthew says, sounding pleased about that fact as he makes his way over to Thomas’ bedside.

“He didn’t come back to get his wounds looked at?” Thomas frowns. He’s a little disappointed that Alastair wasn’t there for him, but at the very least he should be here for himself.

“What wounds?” Matthew sounds confused. “I told him we didn’t need three of us to carry you back and sent him home. Honestly, I don’t know why you’re so insistent on trying to befriend him, I-”

Just then Cordelia arrives in the doorway looking panicked. “Where’s Alastair?”

“Why is everyone asking me that tonight,” Matthew mutters. “I told him to sod off. I can promise all of you that if you’re ever looking for Alastair Carstairs you will not find him anywhere in my general vicinity, at least not willingly.”

The words would sting more if Thomas wasn’t distracted by his immediate panic, matching Cordelia’s. “He didn’t come home?” Thomas directs the question to Cordelia.

She shakes her head. “He was due back hours ago. I thought maybe he’d be here…”

“He was injured, during the patrol. He got hurt pushing me out of the way, I-” Thomas pauses to focus beyond the fear the strikes him, attempting to take a calming breath. It doesn’t help. “The demon that attacked us, it had claws, there might’ve been venom. Poison. If he never made it home…”

Alastair could be anywhere.

Alastair could be dead.

“We need to find him. I’ll go back home, get something of his to track, maybe-” Cordelia suggests, but stops as Thomas shakes his head.

“That’ll take too long,” he says. Though Thomas sounds hesitant, he only pauses for a moment before making up his mind.

Thomas reaches a hand down the front of his shirt, pulling up a necklace hidden under his clothes. At the bottom of the silver chain rests a ring with a recognizable C and the Carstairs sigil around the sides. It is, unmistakably, the Carstairs family ring. _Alastair’s_ ring.

“Here,” Thomas says, holding it out. “Use this.”

Thomas catches the flicker of recognition in Matthew’s face before immediately looking away.

“Thomas…” Matthew starts, but Thomas doesn’t even have to stop him because Matthew stops on his own, at a loss for words over the revelation.

“Find him,” Thomas begs, knowing that he’s in no condition to try a tracking rune just then. “Please.”

Matthew nods, taking the ring out of Thomas’ outstretched hand. “I’ll get James. We’ll track better together.”

Thomas closes his eyes in the silence that fills the room once more, but knows he isn’t going to sleep again any time soon.

\---

It’s an hour later that Matthew, James, and Cordelia return with an unconscious Alastair in tow. They remove the top layer of his clothing to reveal the blood-soaked fabric beneath and 4 angry cuts running down his side.

“He seemed fine when he left,” Matthew insists. “He didn’t say anything about being hurt, I swear it.”

“That’s because he’s a stubborn ass,” Thomas points out. “Who would want to make sure you take care of me first instead of wasting time fighting with him.”

Thomas rises from his bed, ignoring the way the pain in his head throbs from the sudden movement, and stands besides Alastair. It’s easy to see where Cordelia already marked two iratzes when they found him, and Thomas pulls out his stele to go over them again for good measure. Only then does Thomas drop his hand to the side to rest over Alastair’s cold, unmoving fingers.

“Dad is getting a salve for the wound and a potion to help with the demon toxin,” James says.

None of them make eye contact with Thomas so he can only hope they don’t see the shine of tears that threaten to fall for a moment before he gets control again.

“Thank you,” he says, turning back to them, but in such a way that his hand drifts behind him to remain over Alastair’s. “I know you’d just as soon leave him for dead, so...”

“We would never,” James insists.

“Especially not knowing he’s… uh... important to you,” Matthew says, sounding unsure of what he should be saying here. Thomas hasn’t actually _said_ anything on the matter of him and Alastair yet, not that there’s much left to guess at now, but he doesn’t want to get into it with Matthew and the others just then.

“I’ll stay with him,” Thomas says instead, his tone making it clear that this isn’t a request. “We can talk later?” He adds to James and Matthew, knowing that he owes them some sort of explanation but hoping they’ll be willing to wait.

“Yeah, of course,” James says, and Matthew nods in agreement before they both turn and leave.

Thomas sinks into the chair next to Alastair’s bed, thinking of all the things he plans to say the moment Alastair wakes up. He’s relieved but also filled with regret, his mind full of every moment he and Alastair could’ve greeted one another with quick a kiss, or held hands, wondering if they hadn’t still been a secret if Alastair would’ve come back to the Institute rather than leave himself alone and vulnerable.

Wondering if taking so long to realize just how important Alastair is to him, even if their relationship is still relatively new, could’ve been the thing that lost him forever if Cordelia hadn’t come when she did.

He’s so deep in thought he doesn’t notice that Cordelia moves to take the chair opposite him until she speaks.

“I thought he’s been happier lately,” she says, handing Alastair’s ring and chain back to Thomas. “I was glad to see it, and even more pleased to find out the reason.”

Thomas doesn’t have to ask what she means - he only smiles as he puts the necklace back on, taking what comfort he can from the knowledge.

\---

Alastair barely has the chance to blink once before he feels someone’s hand squeeze around his at this first sign of consciousness. His eyelids flutter open slowly to reveal what he already knows by the increasingly familiar touch - that Thomas is with him.

“Thank the Angel,” Thomas sighs next to him, and Alastair notes that he looks tired and wary, all the way down to his bones.

“Are you okay?” Alastair asks him.

Thomas pauses, then laughs incredulously.

“ _You_ pass out in an alley on your way home and you’re asking _me_ if _I’m_ okay?”

Alastair cringes at the memory, then at the pain in his side as he shifts to try and sit up in the bed.

“Careful,” Thomas warns, placing one hand on Alastair’s shoulder and the other behind his back to ease him down again. “Cordelia will return any minute and if she thinks I let you re-injure yourself she’ll kill me.”

Thomas gives Alastair a brief summary of what happened, including the fact that their relationship, while never officially declared, isn’t quite secret anymore either.

“I’m sorry they found out,” Alastair says at the end. “I know you didn’t-”

“No, _I’m_ sorry, Alastair. I’m sorry I didn’t tell them sooner. I was a fool for trying to get them to like you more first. I don’t care if they like you. _I_ like you, and that’s all that matters. Forgive me for not realizing that sooner?”

Alastair smiles. “I think I can manage that.”

Thomas smiles back, relief flooding through him as he leans over Alastair for a kiss. They’re both dimly aware of the sound of approaching footsteps and, as neither of them break the kiss, have both decided to embrace showing just how much they care about one another, no matter where they are and who is around to see.

They’re done hiding and they couldn’t care less about who the footsteps belonged to just then.

...that is, until the person clears their throat and speaks in the unmistakable voice of Mr. Herondale.

“I see both my patients are feeling better,” Will says, and Alastair can feel the grimace cross Thomas’ lips while they’re still pressed against his, just before Thomas pulls away with a slight flush on his cheeks.

“Much better,” Alastair confirms.

In fact, injury notwithstanding, this is the best he’s felt in a long time, and he has a pretty good reason to believe that things will only get better from here.

Alastair glances to his side and grins at Thomas, watching as that reason smiles back at him.

**Author's Note:**

> (Find me on [Tumblr](http://bytheangell.tumblr.com) and also on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/By_The_Angell)! <3 )


End file.
